Tonight I am praising the fact that Christ does not give up on us in our weakest state, and that He is the only one who can weaken those shackles and break us free.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God." (Ephesians 2:8)
Christ is not a God who calls us to do works to be a part of His family. He simply asks for us to believe in Him and call upon His name.
What I so desperately need, as does everyone in this world, is to call upon His name.
So for a very long time, I thought the person who needed to save my from the pain inside of me was myself.
I thought that through MY works, through me being a good kid, through striving for good grades and involvement, and through having tons of friends, that somehow I was going to fill the void within me, and finally feel free myself of the emptiness within me.
I have learned that it does not work that way.
You see, I struggle with many things in life. We all do. But my most consistent struggle throughout the past four years has been depression and loneliness.
Depression is a blinding pain. It is dark, scary, and makes you feel like you are constantly in chains. It is terrifying and all-consuming. It makes you feel lonely, worthless, and quite truthfully like the world would be better off without you. In short, it takes your breath, your fire, and your heart. Even on medication, it is something that can run your world.
For a long time, I have let depression rule my life: whether struggling with it in the moment or fearing its return, I have let it control much of who I am.
But that can't be something that continues. I may still struggle with depression in the future, but the thing that's different is that my Christ has taught me something awesome:
Hope doesn't come from within us, but from the anchor of our souls: Christ Jesus, our Lord (Hebrews 6:19). I no longer need to try to fill up the hole inside of me with worldly things. I need to fill myself up with His love and His word. I need to leave the worldly things behind, and worship the creator, not the created (Romans 12:5). This life of being a living, breathing sacrifice to His name and allowing Him to fill us is the path to joy. Not constant happiness, because there will be trials. But constant joy in knowing that He is greater than satan is, and that satan's lies about us are left meaningless when you think of how much Christ loves us.
Now I want you to think about your experiences in life. Is there a void that needs to be filled? Are you following Jesus but still think you need to be the one who earns your own joy?
Really think on these questions. Ask yourself if you're being ruled by the created rather than the created, and therefore letting those things determine your worth.
For those who feel like they need Christ to fill the void, and also those who don't yet know his truth: I have good news.
Jesus died for YOU.
The hole inside of you is not one that has to keep growing, but one that can be filled to overflow with Christ. Satan is telling you lies, but Christ is simply the truth.
If you have been left, know that Christ will never leave you (Deuteronomy 31:8).
If you have been told you are ugly, fat, useless, or have been hurt by anything of that nature, know that Christ sees you as his masterpiece, his handiwork and he has things in this world that only YOU can do (Ephesians 2:10).
If you have ever felt alone, know that Christ is always with you (Joshua 1:9).
If you have ever felt like you wanted to die, know that Christ already died in your place to save you from whatever it is that is hurting you (John 3:16).
If you have ever felt anything less than loved, know that Christ loves you more than anyone on this earth ever could begin to love you (Romans 5:8).
You cannot save yourself from these things my friends.
Christ is our Savior, so stop trying to save yourself and fall into His grace, peace, and love.
For as it says in Romans 8:37-39:
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39)
Thanks friends.
Love you all so dearly.
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